I realized this evening at ballet class/rehearsal that this is my last week at my dance school. We perform on Saturday, and then I'm done. I don't know if I'll ever be able to dance again. Obviously I'm a bit shaken up about this. I chose several weeks ago to quit, for several reasons. First of all, my dad doesn't want to help pay my tuition anymore, and I do not have $125 a month. Secondly, I've let it consume my life. It's understandable. It's very difficult to participate in an activity for an hour and a half, four nights a week, without letting it be a pretty big part of your life. I feel like my life has just been a two-lane, one way road -- one lane is school, and one lane is dance. That's all I am.
Well, I decided that I need to branch out. It's time I expanded my horizons. Ballet is demanding too much time, energy, and devotion. If I thought I had a realistic chance of making a life for myself in the dance world, I would continue. But there are so many reasons for me to leave. I've always known that I don't have what it takes. I have no spark, I have very little creativity with movement, and I've never wanted to do anything but tap and sing anyway. I don't really understand why I've gone so far with ballet when what I've always had in the back of my head was musical theatre. So, the point is, I'm letting a big part of me go, but it's so that new parts of me can emerge. Okay, that sounds like an alien form of reproduction or something, but I can deal with that. Perhaps now that I'm dancing less, I'll write more, or paint more, or play more music, or get involved in theatre.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment